admitting the fact

supposedly i wrote this post last night.n ya i did actually.but the wifi line so kindly to me so it save nothing at all of my post last night.not even a letter..

so right now i'm juz admitting the fact that i'm not fine.at all.

yesterday we went to JJ bkt raja.which 2nd last place i went with him last sem.

n i did sit on the same chair infront of mph there n i was hoping that the person beside me is you.not any other person.

then it hurt me so much coz i actually still remember that night.vividly.

then going down the escalator.i wish there'll someone who will hold my hand n i dun want any other than you.juz like that night.

my heart totally went into pieces.i wish things not like this..oh god...

now the worse part ever,i dun have anyone to turn to.

coz i lose everyone.including my bestie ever.

so i dun know whether i can survive this phase alone or not.

last night i can't act like i'm fine to the others anymore.

n now if anyone ask me again,'how r u?'

i'll definitely will say no.i'm not.

sorry.i'm not that strong to keep smiling to the others while my heart totally cried alone in there.

another fact that i'm so scared to admit before this is i'm not having faith in myself.not in you lalink..totally not in you.coz through all these 4years being ur besfren,i'm having full faith in you.
so the person that i dun have faith at all is myself..i'm so sorry for everything..
oh god...i'm so lost..

being at the bottom of this downfall totally make me wanna go deeper..
n oh.sorry.i dun know whether i stil can use lalink to call u or not..so sorry dear...
its juz everything happened that night was my fault n i'll never forgive myself for that..

i'm hoping there's a miracle happen.so that it'll bring me out of this downfall.forever..
but will there any miracle happen?i dun have faith in myself.at all..