whatever~~

supposely i want to post lyric of yank..but seem tonite somebody make me angry.really2 angry+annoyed with his words,i lost all my mood already..huh..

ok2..
actually i dun know who should be blame for this..but i think i dun even make mistakes by on9.
i dun even take his time,
i dun even use his money..(instead i use my brother's)
i dun even use his laptop
i dun even use his electricity or anything...!!

in fact u use my laptop to book ur flight ticket juz now k?
and also pay the ticket using my brother's card credit..!!
urff..enough bout u lah..juz ruining my beautiful nite..huh...

so what?he purposely make me angry n laugh like that is very funny and still can say that i'm 'merajuk' till i dun want to eat..
hey,i lost my appetite already juz my hearing ur voice in this house lah..huhh....
hurry up morning..i want to go out..
can't stand when he's here..

well...actually there's only one good thing u r here.
it will make my will to go out stronger..!!hahaa...
which i actually want to cancel it but when all of this happen,i want to out of here..at least till evening..:))

owh..so i need to sleep early as i have to wake up early to prepare the food n everything before going out..ouchh..hate it lol..
ok now,time to sleep..:)

gud nite n sweet dreams everyone..
keep smiling..:)

reminder:-no touching2 plz~~

well2...i'm juz another emo girl after all...
so i always being too emotional over juz a very simple thing rite?hee..
which actually nothing wrong or happen..

so reminder to myself for today onwards:-no more touching2 k jannah??

if not,i'm going to slap myself for that..ahhhaa..:p
there's always up n down in everything rite?
life,frenship n also family..
upppsss...not going to make any statement again..:p

ok2..so rite now juz having my holiday at home..which is not my home..hehee..
dun know when will be back to pahang..
my license still not in progress due to money lol..
so can't make any decision..i want to work actually but i dun know where??huuu
still lots in my mind..i dun have any experience in finding job lol..
plus i'm no good at anything..huu...

so how can i settle everything without working??
dun have that answer...

hmm..planning to go to perak has been cancel.again..haishhh..
so sori my bestie can't accompany u in time like this..:(

erk..whatever it is...i want to go out tomorrow..
any1 wanna join me??
coz i'm all alone..;)

y?

why do people always like doing silly things?
you don't want to admit that you were left behind
so deliberately touch that wound
you are not satisfied until you are full with scars..
you're just asking for it...

taken from my lucky star..totally right..:)
think of it..

freehair??

hua3..i'm getting crazy..
out of control already..
all of this pics taken when i'm totally bored n dun know what else to do..:p

wekkss..:p

tido jap..:D

wakakka...totally wasting times..

well..still in doubt..can i go to perak this friday?

erkk..i'm so scared to ask for permissions...huu...

totally lots of things to clear up,convinced n also a bit begging i guess..

which all of these,i'm totally failed when it comes to family..T_T

what to do huh?

juju,thx for calling me..

totally in dilemma whether i can go there or not..*sigh*

SOS..huu...get me out of all these boredness.....

totally holidays~~

wahh..at last settle everything about practical..juz waiting for the result..
hopefully gonna pass it...thats all i want..not more than that..at least not going to repeat anything jek..hee..:)

lots of thanks to my beloved kembar 4 that has totally helped me through all the obstacles in finishing all the works..
especially when finishing the report..
it was totally challenging for me n u all too rite guy n girls?
hee...

opps..stil dun have any pics..especially today's pics..(26th la)
back from shah alam i juz sleep n sleep..wakakka..
totally can't separate me from sleeping n chocs..
owh..love all of thats..
n also cheese..
oh..jannah getting crazy...love lots of things..again n again..hehe..:D

can't stop myself from loving themm..<3<3<3..hehhee..

ok2..close that story.. for everything,i love my fens..even they dun even care how i feel or anything.. jannah,juz love all as long as u still can love them..dun make me hate any1..thats my pray..aminn....:) smiling again..

p/s:-my bestie@my laling,dun be upset about her k..even i dun know anything,i juz want u to be happy n success always..if u need me,juz let me know k..

tomorrow is 26th

weee..tomorrow is 26th april
which is our presentation day for practical training..huu
at last the day come..i'm so happy coz i'm tired doing this report..
keep editing it again na again.
at least when the time has come,i'll juz print it n send them..hahha..:p
i'm so lazy these adays..
dun know y..(erk..i always lazy lol..never being a bit diligent..:p)

haha..whatever it is i'm happy to meet them..my beloved classmates..:D
miss u all so much already.hee...
even dun know that u all do miss me or not,but t'm going to say that i miss u all so much..haha..:D

ok2..now its time to pack things up for tomorrow..
to our driver tomorrow:-drive carefully k n congrats coz u have win ur mum trust to drive us to shah alam tomorrow..sorry coz me n k.ifa can't drive yet..huu.
dun worry,i'll treat u later k..hee..:D

so tonite dun know what to do..coz i'm so full with the murtabak mengkasar..haha..originally from my hometown but now having branch at setapak..yummy..!!:D

ermm...whatelse to say ehh?
i dun think i can get to on9 on specific time later on..huu..
so nothing much i can say now as i dun know how to transfer pics from hp to lappy without that modem...*sigh* (ble la mau beli card reader nih..duit asyk melyg mn2 jekk)
eyh..what the connection of pics can't be transfer with this blog??
i means i wanna put few pics actually.almost months that pics actually...hahaa..dun know when i get the chances..
so will be updating later which is unknown time..huu...
gotta go..bye2..
wish us luck for the presentation and report k.hee..
k daaa...:)

Horrible~~

I hate this..what??

This feeling.this situation...

I have love others enough.. but y others can't??

*sigh*

I really wondering how n what it feel alike to be loved n missed by others..i means by a man..

I really wondering how it feel eh?

I tried everything i could juz to feel it.just for a second.but i failed.

I never get chances to feel them.not like others..

I envy them so much.totally coz i can't feel it.

All i got was loving a man more than everything, missing him like there's nothing more important than that and lastly hurt like being crushed into mashed again n again..

Shut..i hate it..

I ask myself again n again.for these past few years actually:- y can't i be happy like others??after i sacrifices everything i have?? y n y...again n again

but there no answer i found except for:-happiness never mean for me...

then,just take away my breath coz i can't take it anymore.i had suffered enough~~

fullstop

 

p/s:-i wrote this while i'm down.but right now,alhamdulillah i'm totally fine.hope this peaceful stay forever..=)

m0rning~~wee

gud m0rning w0rld..:)
adeh,so hard 2 do update bl0g like this.hard 2 make any smiley n even to enter..shut l0l.f0rget it.hee.dun want 2 ruin tis beautiful m0rning..(which act hd been ruin juz n0w..T_T)

ok2..last nite i've d0ne crazy things again.i repeat AGAIN k.huh..guess wat?i keep c0mmenting on his fb even i n0e he dun like it.(hate maybe)
but as always,hands listened to heart instead of my mind.shut la weh..whatever it is 1thing 4sure he'd fall in l0ve wif a girl.who make him smile,laugh,happy n always accompanying him..i'm glad that he act c0nfess that he had feelings again which when wif me he dun hve any feeling at all.so his heart full wif l0ve n feelings again thats t0tally make me glad.even its n0t 4 me bt at least he's n0t hving 2 much grudge wif girl anym0re..:)
(but i act envy her l0l..haha c0z i tried so hard i mean too hard to make him like tis bt tis girl dun even hve 2 struggle anythg.c0ngrats girl)
so n0w i juz want 2 smile as much as i c0uld c0z i'm d0ne crying n hurting my heart.wee..thx ya Allah..:D

p/s:i f0und ur bl0g la my besfren.haha.thnk wanna kept secret wif me?u can't n i cn juz detect which 1 is u fr0m that 10writers lah..hua3.u r my bestie sure i knew ur style.hee.. N owh,i kn0w ur new nickname..akakaka..t0tally didn't expect it..:D
n owh,thx to is f0r all of th0se helps.thx a l0ts k..:)

back to kL~

first time on9 using my bel0ved hp.hee..kind da wasting my crdt actually but as i already subscribe for 24h0urs,so better use it well rite?:D
its t0tally weird n n0t c0mf0rtable l0l but its t0tally useful rather than n0thing.haha..:p
opss,n0t g0ing 2 do tis again unless i'm so rich already..huh..n0t even in dreams l0l.haha..
So t0day is my las day at kuantan as t0m0rr0w i g0tta back to KL to take care of my mum.h0pe she'll b fine n want 2 eat.n0t like b4..
Hm..so no m0re rest 4 myself.g0ing there n there while my rep0rt haven't d0ne anythg yet..*sigh* i really dun kn0w h0w 2 do it.everytime i opened it n try 2 do it,i really dun kn0w what 2 type there..so far already finish 16pages means at least 9m0re to go..aiyo i hate like tis l0l.being far fr0m fren when hving w0rk 2 finish up as i dun kn0w h0w 2 do anything.u kn0w anything?its been m0re than 7years i d0ne w0rks wif frens so i dun n0e h0w 2 finish it when they r n0t ar0und.huh?s0und silly rite?but thats me..

Arggh.l0ts m0re i type actually but its g0ne c0z can't save.shut lah.huk3,.huh.next time lo i will type..T_T..whatever,keep smiling.huu..:)

last day

today is last day for me to on9..waa...:((

tomorrow morning going back to kuantan..hmm..i;m going to be baby sitter again lol..
after such long time i have to become a baby sitter again.huuu...
but this time have to baby sit danis..my bold@upin ipin nephew..hahaha
he's totally a very active boy..i think i'm going to faint there...T_T

so officially going to say bubbye for my blog for about 2 weeks at least..haishhh
no more on9 lol.make me sick only..hmm
with my report lotsss more to go..shut gles..T_T
*dizzy*dizzy*faint**._.

p/s:-i'm going to miszzz lots of things..especially to see his update..shut la jannah..heal3..shield33...plz...
now back to smile k..plz jannah..=) =)

suddenly

OMG~~

y i suddenly hurt nih..adoih..jantung ku.jgn la skt skrg..T_T
need to be healthy..
adoih...my heart almost heals but suddenly this jantung lak skt..
am i going to die fast after all these things happen..
adeh..tu la..ritu doa sgt..skrg dh skt btul2..uishh...make me crazy lol..

don't know how long am i going to stay like this..hopefully it won't hurt me too long..
i'm totally exhausted with all this things..plz stop all this pain..
if i'm going to die in instant,dun make me suffer lah..
i had it enough k..

another reminder for myself:-plz la jannah..dun opened that page or any pics anymore.u know it will hurt urself..silly me..stop doing all this stupid n silly things.need to be stronger..!!i have to..!!

healing

every cut or bleeding will heal rite?

so the same goes to my heart.

yes its healing process after all..

i looks easy but its totally not like what it looks like..

easier said than done rite?

but i have to do it..i need to..=)

but this time i can't just heal only.i need to add another process.which is SHIELDING..

haha..know y?

coz i can't let my heart easily being steal which means hurting it again n again.

so the process that i need to do now is Healing n Shielding~~

heart,plz do remember this.its for your own good k..

well2..

1 more thing about myself.i juz love couple's things so much.

u know what i mean??

i mean like this one

n any other couple's things too..=P

this pic i found in one 's blog which make me really love it..shut la weh..really regrets opened that blog.*sigh*

know y i regrets??thats b'coz i actually have buy them..>.< (shut gle.)

oh.with a keychain too..urff..thats make me really hate myself..there it goes my 40 that day.yes its not that much but the effect of that it will hurt my heart lol when seeing it in my wardrobe..(cik ecah,sy dh smpn dlm2 n kt bwh sekli.so mmg xtgk la.hee..thx 4 dat suggestion..owh,i even put them in plastic..=D)

hee...if only i dun buy them that day,i would actually end up with a new shirt n a new shoes already..=D (pdn mke sndr.sape suh gtl2 beli..=p)

but after all,i really felt empty lol..which make me addicted to songs again.which actually only damage my hearing system.huuu~~

last nite i played almost all games in this laptop to make myself tired for easy sleeping time.so tonight what should i do eh??luckily i got on9.if not i will only 'golek sana-sini' la smpi pg..huu..

need to find new hobby ASAP la..if not i;m going to be deaf like this..=p

p/s:-sy amt bosan di rmh.tp ini la hr2 t'akhr dpt on9..nnt dh blik phg no more on9 lol~~

heart,keep it up...smiling,healing n shielding..!!=)

truth always the best

1.30am 6th april 2010
i dun know y i cried like hell.maybe i was too thinking bout him..
as the pain really hurt me n i can't take it anymore,i text him..

me:-it really hurt me.could u plz juz tell me the truth.i can't take it anymore
him:-juz leave me
me:-y?pe slh sy?
him:-not ur fault.juz leave me then
me:-hmm..ok.but juz tell me y?be honest
him:-i'm sory coz i treid so hard to love u but i cant.i'm sorry.
me:-owh..ok..thx 4 da truth..(smiling)

suddenly i smile on my own.i dun even force myself to do it..=)
know y?coz truth is always the best explanation lol..
my heart can smile back.but it is truly a lied if i said it don't hurt me.yes.it hurt me alots before knowing the truth.but once the truth reveal,i suddenly heal..magic right??
haha..juz like i said before..love is magic..always~~=D

so right now i really fine.my heart already smiled.no more nightmare or what so ever..hee..
i would love to say millions thanks to him for telling me the truth..

but then suddenly ithurtmea bit when i opened my fb this morning,he already delete me from his friend list..lol..
totally dun understand it.last nite he said we are still friend..hmm.but its ok.as long as he happy n safe i would already satisfied..=)

p/s:-to him,juz take care of urself k?sorry if i forced u to do something impossible.hee..i know its totally imposible to make any guy fall in love with me..but for me to fall for anyone that is totally true..!!haha.no3..heart,not again..juz stay still..being single isn't that bad..=)
reminder for myself:-dun falled for anyone easily k?coz u might be forcing him to falled for you too coz that guy juz pity with u lo..hee..anyway,close that story..heart,continue smiling...=D

day with kembar 4~~

owh..its almost 3 days i haven't received any news from him.
so i officially wanna said that close that story.ever..*sigh*

well,today i'm here with my kembar 4.wish kembar 2 join too..=)
wee..we lepaking at mcd SG,..
reasons wanna do report..(which actually i dun know whether it will work or not..=p)

i've been totally down yesterday.so today i wanna be happy with them..ya Allah..plz gve me back my happiness..
i think i should stop worrying about others n start being selfish.juz about myself.no more guys..hate it..wekkss...

oh..if only my heart can easily forget people n all they have done to me,then i will easily n willingly delete n erase that guy from my life.
but as always.it will hurt when heal too..
so i juz need time.to forget everything n start new life..
wish this time it won't take too long like before..heart,be strong plz..!!=)

smile3..thats all i want to do now.plz..heart,no more pain.no more hurting urself..
if people dun value us,why should i value them..rite??heee...
i'm going to be kindda evil i guess..
dun be too sympathise with others coz they actually gonna hurt u back later or sooner..
so jannah,wake up n be another person..weee...

p/s:-to everyone read this,if u want to blame me go on.but no one knows what happen except for my kembar 4,me n Allah..thats all i have now..they are going to be my will to live..insyaAllah..wish i'm going to be stronger n stronger than before coz i need to focus on my future..hehehe..=))
keep smiling yaa...=))

u will never know

oh goshh..
i found an interesting blog..(for me lah)
y?
coz that girl have the same thought about love with me..wee..

love this phrase:-
life without love is nothing~~

heh..i already made this one of my fav lines since i'm form 3..
so after viewing her blog,i'm now totally full of enviness..=p

now lets post one of her entry...

i don't think u will ever fully understand how you'v etouch my life and made me who i am

i don't think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star

i don't think you will ever fully comprehend how you've made my dreams come true or how you've opened my heart to love nad the wonders it can do

you've allowed me to experience something very hard to find unconditional love that exists in my body,soul and mind

i don't think you could ever feel all the love i have to give and i'm sure you'll never realised you've been my will to live

you are an amazing person and without you,i don't know where i'd be.

having you in my life completes and fulfills avery part of me..

hooo..so sweet..i'm too envy as they are too happy together..when will i be like that??
wondering~~

greetings

sorry baru nak greetings semua..(perasan..mne de org bce pn..=p)
well2..this is my new blog after deleting the old one.

y?thats due to some circumstances that can not be ignore.huu..

reminder for myself:-don't u ever2 dare to put full name of a person or any organisation here again or else u gonna have to delete ur blog again..*silly me*

but still this is me.the same blogger like before.
so this blog also going to be full of emotions..again..haha..=p

like my first entry for this blog,right now is not good time for me..
y?
all b'coz of him.
who?
my deary la for sure.
what happen?
hhmm..kindda quarreled a bit last nite.n again its my fault lol..
i make him angry but of coz i didn't mean it..

haish..i tried to changed for him.
but stil it looks like i done nothing.*sigh*

that sentences this evening hurt me.a lots..
can't he heard that i already cried that time??*sigh*
that guy totally dun hve any feelings.at all..

thats totally make me wonder.when u said that u love me were those just words??*sigh*
no calls no msgs at all..what kind of person are u dear??
totally dun understand guy~~

p/s:-whatever it is,heart be strong..!!=)

oh...i missed blog so much

back to blogging again..

after few days i keep thinking what name for my new blog,just now i juz type n enter coz i can't think well anymore when it comes to times like this..haishhh

dear,i'm so sorry for what i said last night.
totally didn't mean it..
really hope u will forgive me very soon coz i'm dying without u..:((

OMG~~
its all my fault..
what sud i do to be forgiven??*sigh**sigh*

totally down right now..

p/s:-sorry first entry dh sdh2..=(