splitting again

urrf..i never know or can understand why this semester totally give us all these changelling n crazy things.ever..
why only our group have to make ways for the others n again.have been forced to split rather than others do them?
since last sem its always us to sacrifice for them.but then they only complaining their schedule is pack for each day.
hello its your choice to take IFL.not our fault at all..ssshhhhhhhhhh.
whatever lah..

i better keep my minds off it.
right now i juz keep watching series to keep my mind busy on my freetime..
well its help a bit.since i can't put any pressure on myself about everything happened since last week.
n ya.i'm still acting that i'm totally fine coz i dun want everyone ask me about that.
in fact maybe i'm still acting as i still can't accept the fact.
silly huh?previous entries i said i'm learning to accept the fact.but maybe i'm not done learning yet..

they say its a broken heart.but i hurt in my whole body~~

BW,GG season 4

juz keep going on everything now.

till then,keep praying the miracle to come out...very soon,..

admitting the fact

supposedly i wrote this post last night.n ya i did actually.but the wifi line so kindly to me so it save nothing at all of my post last night.not even a letter..

so right now i'm juz admitting the fact that i'm not fine.at all.

yesterday we went to JJ bkt raja.which 2nd last place i went with him last sem.

n i did sit on the same chair infront of mph there n i was hoping that the person beside me is you.not any other person.

then it hurt me so much coz i actually still remember that night.vividly.

then going down the escalator.i wish there'll someone who will hold my hand n i dun want any other than you.juz like that night.

my heart totally went into pieces.i wish things not like this..oh god...

now the worse part ever,i dun have anyone to turn to.

coz i lose everyone.including my bestie ever.

so i dun know whether i can survive this phase alone or not.

last night i can't act like i'm fine to the others anymore.

n now if anyone ask me again,'how r u?'

i'll definitely will say no.i'm not.

sorry.i'm not that strong to keep smiling to the others while my heart totally cried alone in there.

another fact that i'm so scared to admit before this is i'm not having faith in myself.not in you lalink..totally not in you.coz through all these 4years being ur besfren,i'm having full faith in you.
so the person that i dun have faith at all is myself..i'm so sorry for everything..
oh god...i'm so lost..

being at the bottom of this downfall totally make me wanna go deeper..
n oh.sorry.i dun know whether i stil can use lalink to call u or not..so sorry dear...
its juz everything happened that night was my fault n i'll never forgive myself for that..

i'm hoping there's a miracle happen.so that it'll bring me out of this downfall.forever..
but will there any miracle happen?i dun have faith in myself.at all..

learning

at the moment,i'm hardly learning the fact that i already loose my bf which actually mean i loose my bestie too...
*sigh*
what a 'great' weeks...

now,lets see its either this jannah gonna breathe smoothly till next week or juz gonna down deeper in this downfall..
well,while in downfall huge test also come by at the same time.
so which one?

deeper or back to surface?
no one knows.especially with everything surround me now..
*phewww...*

first weekend of sem 4th

7th jan 2011


its friday..after class we( k.kac,k.shida,k.erah,tiero n me) went to ikea.


so its meatball time..my favourito ever..:) thx 2 k.kac for the treat..


then went to ikano.


from ikano we head to sunway pyramid..


ouch..the memories there.my first time ice skating with him.it make me really sad.coz it hurt me.i'll never forget that day.a very wonderful day..the day which u totally took great care bout me..totally..no one will ever did that for me..huhu..


wish we can be back to 'us' again...*sigh*


in the middle of them,i still keep thinking bout him..n it hurt me.too much.coz its my fault until things become like this..


i really regret bout that night..can't forgive myself...:(


*sigh*





8th jan 2011


today we(tiero,k.erah n me) went to mid valley..


once again.it hurt me coz i have lots of memories there with him.haishh..what to do.almost everywhere i went,i have memories with him..


now almost each of them keep haunting me coz i'm full of regret now..:((

can u forgive me n give me another chance?

i know its too much.but i really hope u can give me another chance..n we start all over again..

i promise that i'll change for u..will i get that chance again dear?

another end

22.21pm..4/1/11
the night getting darker n darker for me..
i admit.its my fault.everything.
i know that.n i'm truly sorry..
n i know sorry is never enough to bring 'us' back.
no more us..its juz me..n u is u now..*sigh*
i'm so stupid..

i already got the 2nd chance before this after that incident.
but then it turn out that i ruined the 2nd chance..
n i know there's no such thing as 3rd chances.ever..that 1 thing for sure..

lesson here...
chance only came once.u r lucky enough to get 2nd chance..n still if u stupidly ruined the 2nd chance by doing the same mistakes,dun blame others.keep blaming urself.forever...*sigh*

reminder for myself again..that is why happiness will never be yours..
y i always n easily hurt the person that i love with stupid act??sorry..i guess ur right.i dun deserve a good guy like u.coz after all i'm juz a bad girl....
bad girl gone worst maybe after this~~

p/s:- skrg musim org laen tgh happy2 ngan their lover.getting married,engaged or in a relationship..but for me,its the other way around..:( *january song*

dugaan terbesar

knpe la byk sgt dugaan minggu ni.

n then bnde yg plg di takuti t'jadi jgk..

sdh sgt2.smpi xterkate..

mmg sume bnde jd slh sye bile sye ni

1.sbb mmg byk pk bkn2

2. sbb ske tuduh2

3. sbb post merepek2 di blog ni.

so..bnde dh jd..ssh sgt nk trma kenyataan bila kte hlg org yg plg kte syg..

especially bile kte yg slh tp xtau cmne nk explain..

sumpah rse nk hantuk kepala kt dinding kasi pch.xpyh pk pape..boleh?

4th sem

sesungguhnya....

saya sangat2 penat dan tension...

sangat2....

i need everything back...:((

i need him back...*sigh*

dh xlarat dgn semua problem ini...

saya mahu happy semula.....:(

need my smile back....T_T

happy new year 2011

late wishes as always..:p

well this year i hope everything gonna be ok as i'm having lots more probs to think at the moments..T_T

ya3..i know.never stop having problems rite?

but thats me..so like or not gonna have to deal with it..*sigh*

so today register college.after lifting all those heavy things.i'm so weary already..

but then as much as my body weary,my heart is having lots more than that..

hmm..like i said before.i'm giving up.but then i feel so silly for juz giving up after everything i done.

but now,looks like ya.its true.i'm no one to u..*sigh*

i was stupidly keep worrying if anything happened to u.

till i ask few people which i should never done that.n it turns out that i'm da silly one..

whatever.totally ruined my mood..

make me become moody especially when people around me keep asking,'hows' he now?','where is he?','how are you two going on lately?'

*sigh*

sorry i know nothing bout him...

quit asking me..coz i really dun know.go straight forward n ask him urself everyone.coz i know nothing right now....totally..

ok.wanna watch few more episodes n get some rest.already got class tomorrow...