apekah perasaan ini?

ok.supposedly sekarang tengah menelaah journal2 ini.
tapiiiii....
tadi tetibe calculator kesayangan skrin dah berubah jadi gelap.
T_T
terima kasih.sume nak rosak.
then pergi tanye kawan latest harga calculator.
end up,melekat 2jam berborak..
damn it jannah...!!
pastu online search pasal few terms.
bukak FB,nampak plak pic kawen kawan.
ye.semalam die kawen.kat club house lagi..tapi saya tak pergi..=_=

then tengok pic die(1 je pun),tetibe rase macam........
hurmm..tak tau nak camne nak expressed the feeling.
jealous?sad?
jealous logik la since die dah kawen dulu..!!saya bile??*haha...ok.belajar tak habis de hati"*
sad plak kenape?
sebab honestly,siapa la yang akan jadi that GUY for me?
ntah2 saya selamat kat alam laen dah before jumpe orangnye..haha..ok not funny.

hurm.ntah la..macam tajuk post ni,apekah perasaan ini?
saya pun tak de jawapan tuk itu..

ok lah.back to journal plz jannah..

if you love

i'm not an angel.

i'm just a normal girl with a very fragile heart.

i can't stand seeing other's suffering.

i just want YOU to be happy.

in order for that i sacrifice everything i could.

even when you chose her i still support you.

i still stand by your side.

the moments she left you and you ask me to accept you back,i did that.

over and over again.

but right now,i don't know if i can be that strong to accept you back after everything happened.

i'm learning to forgive you.

but i can never forget them.each and single thing of them.

hurm.i guessed it can never be smooth.

just too much of bumpy all the way..

whatever it is i still got Allah,family and friends..

:)

so just keep being strong dear..

1st week of sem 6th

nothing much happened.
normal class.briefing after another.
class clashing with other.
class cancellation.
then already 1 week passed.

time goes by faster when we do nothing right?
so recently i bought few motivation books.
only start reading 1 of them..hurmm..trying to finish it in this month if possible..:p
IF ye..hehe

then things between me and him just getting up and down again.
it made me miserable for a while.
then all i knew we're just friend.heh..its not that bad.since i still got all my besties with me...:)
as i got few things to be done so it don't bother me too much.
i'm gonna spend lots of time in this semester alone at faculty and library maybe..hurmm..

gotta start to study everything from now.
ya.i start with my life first.
trying my best to put them in order.
controlling my actions and most important my emotion.

so songs are my medicine now..:)
thanks to Allah for still giving me chances after everything..
syukran ya Allah..

jar of hearts

No, I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

Dear, It took so long just to feel all right

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

'Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

[Chorus:]

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

blur

esok 4hb mac.
esok daftar kolej.
5hb dah start class.
tapi....
otak saya blur sangat ni.
macam2 jadi.sampi xtau nak cakap pe dah.

i need myself back.

proposal+result

last monday i went to shah alam.

regarding to my proposal for FYP.

stayed 1 night at syana's house.

went to i-city(at last..!)

 oh..got idea on my FYP.

but still have to study about it.hurmm..

and yesterday got my result.

as expected

i'm totally frustrated.

and now i have to go back to pekan.

got to take back my notes...*sigh*

lots of things in my mind.

i hope i can manage them

hopefully..

i'm gaining my strength.

hopefully no more tests.

my hands are already full.

i can't take anything more.

ya Allah,please help me to go through all of this..

changes

things have changed.

peoples around have changed.

i've changed too..a bit.

but why are you still wanna be the same?

wake up guy.

i may not forgive u yet.

but why do you still wanna repeat the same mistake?

i know you will never read this.

but i just don't care.

i'm not a liar.

so yes i'm missing you so much.

i waited for your text each day.

but not all the time.

even i only replied : ok.

but you'll never knew how much i missed your text.

most importantly,IMY..

but i still got manner and sensed.

you're not mine anymore the moment you chose her,

everything between us already torned apart.

it hard to say good bye.

but i had to..

Good bye my Mr K.

i'll never forget you.but the memories between us i just can't bear it on my minds.

i'm gonna ripped them off my records from time to time.

and for that,please give me time.

i gave you chances to be happy with her.

so please give me chances to be alive.

good bye

7 months

and nothing more.

i stop fighting when its not even worth it anymore..

may Allah still bless me with HIS love and give me strength again..

keep smiling..:)