15march 2013

The end. Thats all.as simple as that my heart turned into pieces i.m truly sorry. There is nothing else i could say to u. Looks like happily ever after is totally beyond my reach after all.again. Memories remains eventhough its taking my life n my strength. I just praying u will be well without me anymore as i know u will. Take care love..

still after...

Still after 1month, unemployed. After few months, sometimes still remember. After years, i still missed both of them. After lots of things n time passed by, i dreamed about someone. Sadly,it make me hurt. Dear my ex-brother, i missed all ur kindness. Truly. But things will never be da same. I just hope we can still be an old friend 1 day. Or at least let me know the real reason, the reason for not even smile to each other, For not even say hi from distant. I missed our beautiful friendship. Dec 2006- July 2009...

tanda2 gangguan

tadi xsdap hati sket..
then saje google2 few things..
dulu2 pernah dengar few simptom gangguan tapi xtau details..
kalo bace yang post ustaz love ni,
saya rase dalam 4-5 tanda tu de kat saya..*erkk....!gulp!*
i means mimpi de 2, yg dlam jaga tu yang risau...

ya Allah..jauhkan la hamba-Mu ini dari segala perkara yang tidak di ingini
dan tenangkan la hati ku untuk menghadapi peperiksaan ini ya Allah..
aamiin3...

memang xleh percaya n xkate percaya 100% but more than 70% saya lebih kepada risau..
huhu..
dugaan3..

programming oh programming,please3 be good to me..! :(

the exam started

at last my first paper for last final exam(hopefully,aamiin3) came..

phewww...

as expected, the questions were totally danggggggggg...!

yes..i left out 2 questions.

i mean literally left it out...=_=

it make me sad ok..

i can only pray that i will pass this paper...aamiin3..

the same goes to my friends..:)

ok..lets forget about it and start to study for my next paper..

pray for us ek..

thanks...

p/s: cant wait to meet my dear...:) 

losing me?

I think--I think when it's all over,

It just comes back in flashes, you know?

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.

It just all comes back. But he never does.

I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.

It's not really anything he said or anything he did,

It was the feeling that came along with it.

And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.

But I don't know if I should.

I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright.

But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?

Maybe he knew that when he saw me.

I guess I just lost my balance.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.

It was losing me

i'm losing myself.

haha..i'm getting crazy.inside.

i really wanna cry hardly but then my mind stop me.

why should i cry for him?

maybe its not just about him

its the memories that tearing me apart.

the feelings he gave me is killing me

from inside and slowly..how do i find the cure?

wondering~~

pressure~~

sekarang minggu final.
tapi paper saya start 9hb, hbis 17hb..
lambat giler...huhuuuu..
sekarang xsihat.demam sket.
owh.bukan sebab study tapi sebab banyak sangat tido..huhu
xde mood nak study..

erm..regarding previous entry, mule2 rase tenang tapi rini suddenly lost.
saya send 1 msj pnjg gle kat die.
mntk maaf 4 everythng,halalkn mkn mnum n everything bla3...
xlme pastu rase lost giler.

ok.seriously i still missed him.
too much actually.
all this while xpernah couple lama macam dengan die.
barang2 die bagi seriously wat saya sedih.
xpernah sangka akan betol2 putus dengan die.
yela.i mean dah selesa dengan die,family die.
dah rapat sangat..macam family sendri.
maybe i miss kasih sayang family die yang xpernah anggap saya outsider.
in fact lagi banyak share masalah dengan ummi die dari my own family.
saya sangat rindu semua tu.

rase takut untuk hilang semua tu tapi memang saya dah hilang diorang pun...
sedih sangat.
maybe i need to take 1 step backward jugak dari this someone coz i'm totally not ready 4 anything.
i'm still thinking n missing my Mr K which i knew its totally wrong.
but how can i denied what my heart feel?
no one know how hard it is for me now..
my bestie ask me to do istikarah..
i think that will do..
semoga hati ku tenang menghadapi semua ini..aamiin3...

i'm not strong to face all this tests.but i still believe Allah is always with me... :)

one step away

i'm taking 1 step away from u since last night.
i hope this is the right thing coz i don't want to hurt myself by faking my reactions when u told me about that girl. i'm being selfish as u did the same for me right?
i hope this is the best for us.
oppss...there's no more us..we're totally different from each other now
but then i still felt calm and relieve..
alhamdulillah.. :)

i knew you were trouble~~
this song keep playing in my head.
hahaaa..lots of songs played in my head lately since that night
but this one is the current one with "aku yang tersakiti"

ohh...i also took one step closer to someone..
ehhh..no.he did that not me actually..*wink3*
just one step closer not anything ok?
i'm not ready for anything yet.
so he do understand..
too well actually..:p

i'm not opening my broken heart to anyone coz i don't even knew where my heart is..
its everywhere i guess...
hohoh...lots more things to go for my final exam.
i'm praying my success for this exam..please3 i want to pass each and every paper i took this semester..
may Allah ease..

got to go~~

first entry 2013

bertahta di hati-cover by shila


tadi layan video laen sebenarnya..
tengok shila cover aku yang tersakiti..
memang feeling gler die nyanyi...



sedih tetbe..huhuu..

ehh..ape sedih2 ni jannah?
its new year la..kena mulakan hidup baru,right?
so mari senyum ye..:)
neway,its officially more than 2 weeks since that day
n tipu giler kalo kate saya happy dengan pe yang jadi
after everything that i've sacrificed for him.
tapi dah tersurat ini yang akan jadi kan..
jadi saya kena terima dengan hati yang terbuka..:)

owh..final exam dah nak start tapi saya x get ready langsung lagi
asyik jalan2 jek..:p
so,mari start study..
study ke stado ek?hehe..
doakan kami semua ye...

p/s: start tahun baru je dah dapat dugaan..xpela.ujian kecik je ni..keep smiling yep... ;)