eating n eating

ok..before this i really wanna eat chocolates a lots like still in high school..
but nowadays i rarely get chance to eat them.last time i eat choc was on 25th april..haha..
then today i eat them again while on9 n watching movie on tv..
ok great.i always love chocs so much..
but now see the clock?its already 1.55AM..
n i just eat half of the medium bar of choc...owh..great..!!
i dun even realize that i eat them so quick..
but then i realize 1 thing.back in form 2,i actually have finish half bar of LARGE choc in less than one hour..!!!
silly me..
i always dun realize the amount of choc i already ate..>_<

ok2..enough of choc for today..haishh..need to change my habit.how eh??
i already addicted to chocs and cheese n also so any other unhealthy food..!!
waaa..y did i fall in love with them??
oh,i forgot i can easily fall in love with something so fast and also fall in love with a person...*sigh*

well,dun want to say anything else about food coz i already wish lots of foods now..*stop it jannah*
even i already gained lots of weigh already but still i can't stop eating whenever my eyes opened..dush3..

p/s:-my bestie,when will we meet??i really wanna eat burger king..huhu..*even i know nothing about the menu there..hahaha..u have to choose for me again..:p* see??i still wanna eat lots of things..hmmm3...dun know what else to do~~

Its getting harder and harder to breathe

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable

So condescending unnecessarily critical

I have the tendency of getting very physical

So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here

This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear

You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone

Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head

You should know better you never listened to a word I said

Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat

Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill

Does it burn

Is it painful to learn

That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill

Does it sting

When you feel what I bring

And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe

erk...y it become like this??

adoih...i'm so sick with my blog right now..
after i change the templates (with the teddy one),my bestie told me that he can't comment on my entry..
ok fine..so i check the settings n there's nothing wrong with it..
fine..
then i change the templates again..(which lots of things happen actually n i almost already)
still can't comment..
haishhh..then i put the chatbox another problem occured..!!
the chatbox also crazy..!!
shut gle..!!
fed up3....
dun want to change anything again coz i really dun know y this happen..T_T
waa...i love my blog so much but y this happen??:((
maybe i'll use the classic template after this...haishhh....hate it lah..i want my old blog..sob3....

p/s:-lots of test already today..AM,i waited for ur call this morning n also the pic u promised but there's nothing from u..waaa..i even dreamed i talk to u on phone..haishh..have to wait till tomorrow's evening for u to arrive at singapore..huk3..u promised last nite to call me this morning but u didn't..i'm so sad....:(( even yesterday u forgot to call me..aaaa...really make me crazy now..need u dear...

criterias~~

huh..i'm getting bored with all ur doing lah..so bored..so right now,i'm transforming into a cruel girl..yep..a very2 cruel girl ever~~(heh..in fact i juz want to make my heart stronger..:p)

well before this i dun really matter about all of these things but right now,i'll make it the guidelines...

ok..so for this entry i would like to put the criterias for a man that wanna be my next lover..if lack one,u r totally REJECTED....!!

1. EXTREMELY HANDSOME
y?coz i'm bored with all those people already.all this while i never care about look n appearance.but this time,i will absolutely make this the barrier..huhh..
n how i described handsome guy?? sorry.all this life time i only said 2 guys are handsome coz i rarely said it..

2. RICH
hah..i already become a materialistic girl juz like many other girls..so what??before this i dun even care about this too but now,no more...u have to be a really rich guy so that if i ask anything u can fulfill them immediately..:D

3. INTELLIGENT
y?coz i'm bored with all those guy which actually make me feel silly before..
at least if u r intelligent,then it can promise me a great life in future right??

4. HMMMM
still in process..but i'll add this criteria later on.i will...!!

huh..dun blame me.blame THEM for breaking my heart again n again before this..i had it enough.i trust people easily so that others will do the same for me..i love others without doubt but in the end they choose other girl..before this i am juz a simple girl but right now,NO MORE...!!
this jannah has completely changed..n again.dun blame me,blame THEM for turning me into this person..!!

exhausted

for this past 5 months in year 2010 i have been totally crazy..
huh..never expected to be fool twice in such a very short time.
i know people will say i crazy or anything
but i can't help it to happen..
yes my heart has been too fragile recently
but

i can't denied it anymore...
i miss him..everyday i want to talk with him.
no not everyday..almost every hour actually..
i missed to laugh happily with him n listen to all those words..
what words??love words....
everytime i heard them,i am so happy..
but then i stood up for a while.
its not true.
its just a lie from him..hmmm...

but still i can't help myself to pick up every single call from him.
if i missed one,i was terribly sorry for him.
then chatting..
we chat happily n there it goes he took my heart away again..
haishhh...y u did that dear??
the only thing i can't understand bout u,y do all those things??
y u make me feel too special and then u said its nothing coz i'm just ur fren.not more than that..
i keep asking u last nite y do this to me..
but the answer i got still the same..
u dun know y n i'm ur fren.....
*sigh*

today i tried to be more natural to u.no more special words for u n no more special words from u too..
i tried to say the word 'aku' n 'ko' but i can't..
instead i still use 'sy','awk',jannah n am with u...*sigh*

beb,i need to be stronger but plz dun raise ur voice with me..huhu..u make me scared by doing that.i know u have done all the things u can do for me to make me happy n sorry coz still i missed him a lots..so sorry beb

end of story plz...dun want to think too much about u coz it only tear my heart apart again n again...
n did u know each time i listened to that 'yang terindah' song,my heart cried so much..y did u sing that song to me if u never mean it for me???
totally can't understand u AM...hopefully u dun do that anymore after this coz i dun think my heart can take it anymore tests from u..

p/s:-y i can't even feel mad at u eh?even u ask me to scold u for doing that to me but still i can't scold u..all i can say to u,its not ur fault...silly me..!!that yang terindah song keep ringing in my head for the whole day..y u sing it for me???urff....

hate myself

i did it again..stupid me.
i'm the most stupid girl in the world again...
i really hate myself..really3...

ya Allah..y must u let me open my heart if it just to be broke again n again??
i really wanna cry.
to AM..i should know i'm juz ur fren.never more than that as u have too many girlfrens already..
great.then as i said i knew u have too many girlfren already but y do i stil believe in u??

tell me,if someone keep telling that he love u.miss u.wanna take u there n there..send regards to his mother in law(which refer to ur own mum),keep calling u with syg,say that he miss u n everything.again calling u his wife or what so ever....so what am i suppose to expect???
surely i expect he really mean it for real..
but then suddenly he said,i'm juz ur fren or besfren only..

i hate men for easily saying those things for no reason at all..y all man are the same??
playing around with my feelings..great..keep doing it men...when i dun believe u,u beg me to believe.then the moment i already believe u n already love u then only u said we r juz FRIEND..!!
great...
what a great games...!!thousand thanks men..!!

p/s:-u hurt me..thx for that.

dun play with the love word plz~~

for me right now love isn't a thing that we can play around on it anymore.
since already reach this age,for me when we say we love someone,u have to be very sure about it.
huh?think i'm too serious?
well..its not that i want to be like this.but since my age going to be 20th this year so i think its not wrong to think futher on the future.
i'm done with all those puppy love or what so ever
what i want right now is a real relationship.which will be maintained to the end of life.
which will never changes no matter what happen.
the one that never fade through times or distance
the one that never ever forgetten or regrets..!

hmmm..but till now i still didn't found it yet.
ok fine..i'm still too young actually but still i need to think bout my future..
unfortunately,my biggest weakness is i never failed to love someone back if they confess to me even before that i have no feeling at all..
but then..still i need a bit time.n normally its not going to be too long..(1-2weeks is not long right??)
but i dun know why the time i already love them,they already closed they heart by that time.
gosh...i dun know what else to do.

before this i might be find someone that i love.
but then i changed the principle.accept people who love us coz some saying said the one who love us is whole lots better compared to someone we loved but never love us back..
but still it don't work..T_T
hmm..*sigh*

so please3...to all men out there.
dun u ever dare to play with love words if u never meant it for real..!!
can't u only say it when u really2 love that girl n willing to go through everything with her??
plz..not for fun again..
i'm done with all those jokes already....plz lah..do understand..
i have feelings ok??not juz a doll or robot or stone...ish..hate my heart also.
can't u dun easily believe in those words jannah??
silly me..stupid me..
fine..so right now,only FRIENDSHIP allowed..huh...


p/s:-i feel a bit silly when he said he only love me as a fren coz he love all his fren..hmm..dun know what to say lah..if u really juz love me as a fren then y do u have to say that ILYSM before this??
ok.thinking +vely,maybe u said that coz i said he's too rush in everything n i'm not ready yet..i dun knowlah..i really can't understand any man anymore..T_T
need rest~~mentally

counting the moments..fuhhh

oh dear..i'm so nervous waiting for the call..
haishh..crazy me lah for the moments..keep counting the moments for ur call..
aaaa....i'm so afraid..

luckily u can't make any call yesterday.if not,i'm totally dead already..
huu..i juz pray u'll be safe on the sea..huh???sea??
yup..that guy is in the ship on the sea..(oh..sgt tkut ble di fkrkn.worried)

erk..worried??y??
hmm..see..its not that difficult for me like someone.but i'm so afraid to be fooled again..
i thought i dun wan to have any long distance relationship anymore coz i'm done being fool like before...
but if i choose this guy,its going to be whole lots of loooonnngg distance relationship forever..!!huuu..
right now he's still studying so its going to be only 3-4 months on the sea.
so when he work,it must be more that 6months he's there..!!
so??? can i bear about it??
no contact for few days.perhaps weeks..!!gosh...
too much things in my head now..can't decide anything yet...T_T

oh3..heart,plz tell me what to do??
(sy dh la amt manja n cpt risau kalo xdpt cntc 1 hr pn..now its going to be weeks???)
gosh...!!
my head spinning around thinking bout this..hmm..
whatever,i'm still waiting for the call..(oh mase,cpt lah..)
i can't take it anymore..err..no3...i dun have any scripts to tell yet..
so right now,let do the script first..!!chaiyuk2 for myself..


p/s:-today is 'his' besday.so happy besday lah ek.n gud luck for ur paper too..